“Calling in “The One” came in to my life as I was asking these questions. What do I need to do to become the person I need to be to find the partner I want? What do I want in a relationship?
Author Katherine Woodward's invitation to expand my sense of self to become the person I needed to be to find the partner I wanted resonated. She suggested that we first connect with ourselves.
A first step is to make a list of the essential qualities of what you want to have in your life.
In making the list, it invited me to review the "failures" and look for the good things. Even those failures had good qualities. What are those core qualities that you enjoyed and want more of? Have you had that experience? Were you afraid to let go because you thought you'd never get it again? Can you let go of what didn't work and get more of what you loved from those connections?
Set aside 10 minutes - at least for this first time.
Get a notebook, or paper and pen.
Take at least 4 deep slow breaths, counting to 4, in and 4 out.
Take your your journal and ask yourself these questions.
What do I want more of in my life?
What are the essence qualities i want to call in for myself?
What would that look like?
Use the list below for starters.
For example: I want more kindness in my life, someone who is thoughtful that sees what I might be needing.
I share with you a list of qualities which can help you find the aspects that you want to change in yourself, the ones that you are going to improve and what you may not have cultivated in your own life yet:
LIST
Abundance Acceptance Appreciation Authenticity Awe Beauty Celebration Compassion Completion Confidence | Courage Creativity Curiosity Divine Love Ease Faith Forgiveness Freedom Fulfillment | Fun Generosity Grace Gratitude Healing Health Honesty Hope Humor Integrity | Intimacy Joy Kindness Laughter Openness Optimism Passion Peace Play Rejoicing | Rejuvenation Self-Love Serenity Success Surrender Synchronicity Tenderness Time Wonder |
Think about what you would like more of. If you have felt unsafe in relationship, you want stability. If you have felt abandoned, you may want to feel a sense of refuge, that your partner is trustworthy.
Invite you to identify your essence quality. What is the quality you want to enjoy and more of in a happy healthy love?
Set up a quiet place, light a candle. Bring a journal, something you can write with. You are beginning the journey, the vision for calling in your partner by expanding your vision. Take a few deep breaths. Ground yourself.
1. Review the list below.
Choose two to three qualities that resonate with you? Which are the qualities that speak to you? Sit with these. What would it look like to have more of this in your life?
Look up the quality in the dictionary.
Develop a statement of affirmation for each. For example, if Trust was an essence quality, an affirmation might look like “I am trustworthy in my connections with others and my partner.” If abundance is an essence quality for you, an affirmation statement might be My life is abundance and overflowing with Love. If Grace calls you, an affirmation might look like “My life is filled with grace.’ Feel these in your heart.
3. Write in your journal about what it would feel like to have more of this.
4. Write these statements on index card that you can carry with you.
As you write them feel it in your heart. Put them in places where you will see them as you begin to think about more about what you want.
5. For today, find a way to generate one of these qualities in your day.
If you called on the essence of Trust, call on yourself to find a way to show your trust. For example, if you promised yourself a yoga class, consider at least a 20-minute session at home if you miss class. If your essence quality is Wonder, take some time to walk in a garden and bring more wonder into your life.
Tip: You can always change this list, It evolves as you do.
Tools (or resources)
Calling in the One, Katherine Woodward Thomas, 2021.
365 Days to Love, Daphne Rose Kingma, 2002
Article written by Annabella Roig
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