A shift in my thinking allowed me to reflect on the what I am looking for in intimate Love and what it means being in relationship. After going through a divorce and different failed relationships I began to ask myself: What do I REALLY want? How do I open my heart after heartbreak?
When I started this job, I was tired. I was in my 40s, had married at 34 and divorced 12 years later, had just ended a 10-year relationship that I suspected didn't suit me within a few months, and now I had reached a point where I was starting to wonder if I was the problem. I kept hoping that, with the next one, I would get the one. Many of my colleagues and friends were in good, healthy relationships, many of them were married. Why wasn't I?.
After the end of that ten year relationship, I had a series of epic failures- relationships with interesting men, professional, smart, independent. One relationship, with an engineer. I thought I found the man of my dreams. I thought it was the end of my search. And then I saw myself, as if I was watching someone out of TV, I saw myself become needy, get angry when I was not getting a call, or text on a regular basis. The relationship eventually ended, painfully.
I began to take stock. What is the reason I wanted to be in relationship? I began to understand that If I wanted a relationship with happy healthy love, I had to change and
heal my heartbreak.
But change to what?
Katherine Woodward Thomas’s book came into my life around this time. She was asking me to expand, to open my heart, to become the person I needed to become for the partner I wanted to come into my life. We do this by connecting with ourselves first.
And the first step is to ground yourself and to ask about what is the essence quality I want more of in my life. I had enough relationships in my life to know what I did like and did not like. While developing my vision, I started to look for what was the essence quality I want more of in my life. I needed to define these for myself. I needed to define these for myself. The qualities I loved were something like this: a light heart, a sense of wonder, was kind to me and others. Creative, inspired. These were the qualities that attracted me- the qualities I wanted more of in my life.
Look for more qualities of the essence you want to have in your life and build your vision.
Answer the following questions for yourself:
What does it me and find love for Love's sake?
What do you want more of in your life?
What are the essence qualities you want to call in for yourself.
What is an essence quality?
Take some time to reflect on the qualities of love, and the kind of love we want to sow in our lives, in order to open our hearts to new possibilities.
Article written by Annabella Roig
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